Overcoming shyness

I would never have guessed that you are shy. Funny, huh?

Cammy Beans last blog post..Instructional Designers with ID Degrees? Survey Results…

I’ve been thinking lately that it might be about taking that discomfort or fear and transforming it into something else. Feel it inside you and instead of using it as something to make you flee, use it as something to make you fight. At the IiL08 conference, I had to “present” for my group at one of the pre-conference sessions. If you knew me over the past 5 years you’d know that this was extremely disconcerting, but instead of bailing out of it like I usually would I tried taking the fear that I felt and using it as adrenaline to get through the presenting. Maybe the very act of accepting (as you say in point 1) is the best thing we can all do. I think most of the fear and discomfort come from trying to resist those feelings instead of transforming them into something empowering.

Good luck and you should be very proud of yourself for leading a session as a shy person You did great!

Erin Murphys last blog post..Innovations in Learning Recap (with photos!)

@Cammy – it’s weird because I’m shy in the classroom at university too but not so much in the online classes. i think it has to do with being able to take some time to digest & reflect. Interesting to think about in terms of online learning.

@Erin – thanks so much for your comments. i think you’ve outlined a healthy response to shyness. and, good for your for presenting! (btw…love the photos you took on your blog)

Still grappling with the in-person shyness issue. You would think that it would have improved over the past couple of years.

I think you are right – it’s about the ability to digest and process. The good thing – blogging does manage to break down social barriers. During conferences with people I don’t know – they wander up and ask what I’m doing. With bloggers I’ve wanted to meet – it’s easier for me to walk up and say hi. t a couple others I want to meet at DevLearn2008.

Wendys last blog post..Ode to the V8 Barcalounger

Hi Janet – Couldn’t make it to the IiL Conference this year… hope it was fantastic.

Oh boy–wish I’d seen this post before last week! I did do a better job than I usually do, in part because I had at least a few people I already knew and therefore that made me feel like I was less of a loser. But it’s very hard for me to network and by the end of the day I’m exhausted.

I do think that if you’re shy, you have to make that conscious effort to put yourself out there. One thing that I do is find people who are by themselves and start talking to them. My theory is that they’re probably looking to connect with someone, too–no one wants to be standing alone with a cup of coffee and no one to talk to at a conference. That has definitely helped, as I find that people are generally pretty eager to talk in those circumstances

Never easy to network though–it’s one of the reasons blogging has worked so well for me.

Michele Martins last blog post..Sign up for the Free eLearning Guild Webinar on eLearning 2.0

I’m not shy if I’m attending a workshop (you may have noticed LOL) but I am when I have to present, its that authority issue for me, very much like blogging…

I have to say though Janet I commented to Karen yesterday how animated and confident you were at the conference this year! It certainly did not show in anyway that you were shy. You were awesome.

@Wendy – somewhere (and I can’t put my mouse on it) I ran across research on shyness and online learning (which includes blogging). Gotta try to find it. So, what I’m seeing here is that blogging is yet another way to help one overcome shyness at a (large) face-to-face event. It’s easy to strike a conversation when someone says, so gee, how is your kitchen renovation going? Have fun @ DevLearn…wish I was going because it’d be great to meet you f2f.

@ Ravi…next year then, right?

@ Michelle-
Well, if you knew before hand you probably would have said…what have I gotten myself into? Kind of tough to say “I’m kind of a wallflower…would you like to co-facilitate a session?” Oh, sure that sounds super fun!

@Emma – probably we just have to say, ‘why not me?’ these other speakers are no different than me…he or she doesn’t have any advantage over me…
For some reason, I always think people know so much more than me when really the whole thing has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with co-learning with your audience.

I have a presenter persona that leads people to believe I am extroverted. Little do they know it’s all an act! I’m trying to meet more people at conferences, so I made myself do things last week like stay up and have a drink in the bar in the evening (and go to the wine social). OK, so now I am still recovering. Sucked the life force out of me.

I do speak regularly, and if it helps, there are many times I am feeling really lonely and wishing someone would talk to me. Especially after I’ve put out so much energy facilitating, I almost don’t have it in me to extend anymore.

Maybe next year we can have wall flower secret decoder rings or something? Flash them to each other when we are feeling vulnerable….

Christine Martells last blog post..VisualsSpeak Teambuilding Training

I’m still recovering too. I’ll be working on that decoder ring for next year…go go social gadget.

I keep in mind Garrison Keillor. He said that folks are always after shy people to “get over” their shyness. He’s not sure it’s something that needs getting over. In fact, he says, many people in this world could use a lot more shyness than they have.

More seriously, it helps me to think of “shy” not as who I am, but how I feel in certain situations. In the right public setting, like a conference, I can choose to act in an outgoing or receptive way; sometimes, I feel myself putting that on, the way I used to put on my suit jacket at work to go to a meeting.

it’s the prayer shawl of corporate life.

Hey Janet–I meant I wished I’d seen this as tips for myself to use, not because I wanted a warning about you! You were awesome and no way I’d have known you were shy anyway. It is that presenter persona, I think. They say many actors are introverted and shy, which is why they’re good.

Michele Martins last blog post..Web 2.0 Wednesday: Find an Expert

Janet,

I have taken the liberty of commenting on this brave post on my own blog. Hope you don’t mind.

John

John Connells last blog post..Paying Homage to Diffidence

Thanks John. What a thoughtful post. You’ve made me feel, well…better.